Welp...herpes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Two words: nipple clamps
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