Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
