She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
