She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
