So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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