please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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