So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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