I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
