respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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