his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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