its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
