WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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