I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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