Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Actions speak louder than pants.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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