And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
