Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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