No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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