Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
