Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
