you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
