So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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