I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
