ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
