Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
