it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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