I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize