I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
North Korea, Best Korea!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize