They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
