Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
