i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
vagina is talking i cant
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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