Non-Jews are for practice
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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