if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
