guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
