We're facebook friends in real life
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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