508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
