You made me cry and you don't even care
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
