just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
