where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
