Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just found puke in my bra..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
