hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
