If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
