If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
