I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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