You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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