Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
