I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize