That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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