Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize