Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
