Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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