I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
