Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
