Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
