babies were throwing up all over the place
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
