Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
