omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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