I'm drive I can fine osifer
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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