He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
