woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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