it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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