and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
