I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize