I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
