Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
